Who we think we are
by Crinklybrownleaves
Summary: A Lucien And Jean story. Follows their story from part way through series 4 episode 8, then on beyond the end of series 4. Well, that's the plan anyway! Leave a review if you can...Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note. These characters are not mine, I'm only borrowing them.**

 **This story starts in series 4 episode 8. So if you haven't watched series 4 you might want to avoid this fanfic until you have seen it! To start with it follows the original story, but I've added in some missing scenes, and I'll be continuing beyond the end of series 4, beyond the kiss and the question! I wanted to explore a bit about what Jean in particular might have thought about these events.**

 **I recently came across the Robert Frost poem 'On a Tree Fallen Across the Road', and I loved what it says about obstacles in our lives, how we deal with them, and what they show us about ourselves. Seemed relevant to Lucien and Jean too! Hence the title of this fanfic. The first verse is below:**

 **On a Tree Fallen Across the Road - Robert Frost**

 **The tree the tempest with a crash of wood**

 **Throws down in front of us is not bar**

 **Our passage to our journey's end for good,**

 **But just to ask us who we think we are.**

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"And get this one to the Colonists' Club so I know she's safe," said Lucien finally, and waited for the blistering reply he knew would come.

"Get yourself to the club, I'm staying right here," Jean protested, as he had known she would. Secretly pleased to have her there with him, he nodded, and when the others had set off on the rather unnecessary jobs he had given them, Lucien and Jean had a few minutes to prepare for Hannam arriving.

Door open, tea ready, they sat in silence for a while, with thoughts swinging between how to deal with Hannam, and reviewing all that had happened in the past two days.

Although he knew he was putting Jean in danger by keeping her with him, he also hoped that she might diffuse the tension a little, and he wanted her beside him, steadying him and believing in him. He watched her drink her tea and realised there was a new confidence in her, underneath the nerves. What had changed, he wondered?

Jean felt a knot gnawing at her stomach. Probably the thought of facing Hannam again, she told herself. She was unsure how Blake would resolve this, but she realised she was sure he would. And it was good to be involved, to be useful, rather than just be Lucien's sounding board for ideas.

She knew that something had shifted in their relationship. It wasn't just that he had said he was ready to follow his heart, it was that she had never doubted for a moment that he was innocent, she'd known that without thinking. Lucien had seen it. And their friends had seen that she believed in him, and had acted accordingly.

Charlie had phoned her, and then let her go down to the cells, against all protocol, to see Lucien, when by rights it should have been Mei Lin, if anyone were to be allowed there. And Rose and Alice had made their way to Jean's kitchen, to talk to her, to try to work out what to do next. Even Lucien had just accepted she was staying with him when the others were sent away.

It seemed that, without discussing it, everyone had acknowledged that Lucien and Jean were together, really partners, as if they were the married couple, not Lucien and Mei Lin. She sighed a little; that would not be so easy to resolve.

The night that Jean and Mei Lin had spent at the club had strangely bonded them. Jean had come to understand why Lucien had married Mei Lin, and in return Mei Lin now knew why Lucien loved Jean. Neither could dislike or blame the other, but how to solve the problem?

Then Sergeant Hannam arrived, and after the initial shocking moment of the gun in his hand, they had settled to talk, calmed by the familiar ritual of pouring and drinking the tea. As the Sargeant asked Lucien why he had killed Alderton, Lucien realised that the very question meant that Hannam hadn't killed him either. With a voice filled with sarcasm Lucien outlined how he could have done it, but Jean's mind screeched to a halt immediately at the phrase "he seduced my wife".

Really? Alderton and Mei Lin? That rather changed things, didn't it? For the last few weeks, since Mei Lin appeared at the door, Jean had felt ashamed that she was so obviously in love with Lucien, that she had 'stolen' Lucien from Mei Lin, that he lived at home with her while his wife stayed in a hotel. Yet if Mei Lin and Alderton had slept together, and Lucien knew about it, that might partly explain why he wanted to leave his wife in the past and be with Jean.

And it made a divorce possible too. After the weeks of pain and disappointment, a little spark of hope glowed.

Then Hannam leapt to his feet at the sound of Frank Carlyle's voice outside, and Jean's mind returned to the reality of the situation in their living room. As the soldier disappeared through the back door, Jean and Lucien went to speak to Frank, and again Jean spoke out, chiding them both for using Blake as 'live bait'. Lucien looked at Jean in surprise. Yes, something had changed. She was claiming him as her own, asserting herself as his partner, not just his support. Was it his declaration that he wanted to be with her that had done this? Or was it that her courage over the last weeks and days had made her more sure of what she wanted?

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	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: thanks for the reviews and PMs, with a special mention to KaeCover for some helpful ideas / suggestions.**

Later, when Sullivan's body had been taken away, and Hannam had been arrested by the military police, Lucien returned to the house with Mei Lin, and together with Jean they sat at the kitchen table. Lucien was struck by the new relationship between the women; Mei Lin's anger at finding Jean in his life and house seemed to have gone, and Jean's tense, careful politeness towards his wife had mellowed to a new, tentative relationship. Perhaps they would never be close, but they seemed to have made peace with each other and the situation they found themselves in.

Mei Lin spoke first. She knew what she intended to do. "I've decided I want to go and visit Lee, and meet our granddaughter, if it can be arranged. And I think it is time for us to go our separate ways, Lucien, and for you and Jean to be together."

There was a stunned silence round the table for several moments.

"I know that is what you both want, and I want you both to be happy. I am sure about this. Our marriage seems so long ago, Lucien, and it's time we left it behind." Jean's stomach lurched with a growing hope that she quickly repressed. Lucien glanced at Jean, signalling to her that it was what he had hoped for too.

Mei Lin turned to Jean. "I do appreciate what you have done for me, Jean. I know it must have been very hard for you, and you have always treated me with kindness. And I can see that you make Lucien happy."

Jean was rather lost for words. She had expected that if Lucien chose to be with her, as he had promised, it would involve a rather messy divorce and a considerable scandal in Ballarat. But if Mei Lin wanted a divorce too, then it could prove to be bearable.

Lucien spoke up then. "I'm sure we can arrange for you to meet Lee again, but have you thought about what you will do then? Surely you are not thinking of going back to China?"

"Maybe I could stay in Hong Kong," she replied, "but I don't really mind where I live as long as I can see her."

"I promise we'll do everything we can to make that possible," said Lucien, then hesitated for a moment. How do you thank someone for making the sacrifice Mei Lin was making? "Thank you, though thanks aren't really enough," he continued and grasped her hand in gratitude.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: thanks for the kind messages and reviews, all very welcome!**

Over the next few days, Frank Carlyle made the necessary arrangements for Mei Lin to travel to Hong Kong. He seemed to be able to speed matters along, arranging passports and tickets for her.

Jean and Lucien continued almost with the life they had led before Derek Alderton's death. It seemed unfair to move ahead with their relationship while Mei Lin was still with them. So they both turned their attention to helping Mei Lin get ready for her journey, and recover from her ordeal at Sullivan's hands.

But the atmosphere in the house was easier now, and Lucien and Mei Lin were able to talk about the years they had spent apart. He told her about his time in the POW camp, she talked about what happened after he put her on the boat out of Singapore, with Lee, and how they had come to be separated from each other in the confusion of war.

Jean left them alone most of the time, concentrating on her work and thinking through all that had happened. She was happy for Lucien that he had the chance to say everything he needed to to Mei Lin; a chance she had so much wanted to have with Christopher, but had never had.

Standing at the sink washing dishes, Jean turned over recent events in her mind. She'd loved Lucien for months, perhaps longer, and when he'd nearly proposed her heart had leapt. She would have accepted, she knew. But the terrible pain of having her hopes dashed had actually made her feel more strongly. They had survived the huge challenge of Mei Lin's reappearance, and Lucien's heartfelt assurance to her that he would follow his heart rather than his sense of duty made Jean feel more hopeful that they could still have a future together.

But she knew it would be hard. Even though Mei Lin would agree to a divorce, it would still be unpleasant. In a small rural town like Ballarat divorce was still unusual, and a subject for gossip. Add to that the usual gossip about Jean and Lucien living in the same house, and they were certainly in for some challenging times. And as a Catholic she wasn't sure how she felt about marrying a divorced man. Her conscience pricked her but she knew that ultimately she would want to marry him anyway, if he asked her again, of course. She felt slightly uncomfortable that she would put her principles aside so readily for this relationship.

Jean also acknowledged to herself that there were large areas of Lucien's life that she knew nothing about. Not just what he did during the years he spent in intelligence, but also how he had dealt with the knowledge that his wife and his friend had betrayed him together. She sighed a little in frustration. The many layers to his character were among the things that she loved about him, but life with Lucien would never be straightforward.

Lucien had noticed that Jean seemed quiet, and realised she probably needed some reassurance that all would be well in the end. He knew she would find the idea of a divorce difficult, but that really couldn't be helped. However recent events meant that their relationship was now even more obvious to the people around them, and he needed to put an end to the gossip by marrying Jean as soon as he could. That is, if she'd agree.


	4. Chapter 4

As Frank drove away with Mei Lin, Lucien felt a pang of regret. Who knew if they would ever meet again? And Mei Lin had been part of his life for so long, even when he thought she was dead. Jean reached out a hand to touch his arm, sensing a certain sadness in him, and he took her hand in his.

Pulling her closer, his hand to her cheek now in that gesture she loved from him, he leaned down to kiss her. Rather to his surprise it was Jean who rapidly closed the gap between them, kissing him with an urgency that neither of them had expected. She held the back of his neck, ruffling the slight curls that escaped there, and savoured the moment she could finally claim him as hers.

Lucien rapidly recovered from his surprise and responded with longing. The kiss was brief but passionate, and then they waited for a moment, foreheads touching, reluctant to move on.

Then Jean turned to go into the house, somewhat embarrassed by the display of emotion, only to be called back by Lucien.

"Jean, there's something I need to ask you..." He smiled at her and she made eye contact again. "May I finish what I started to ask you before? Will you marry me, Jean?"

She couldn't resist smiling broadly at him. "Of course I will, though that has to be the longest proposal ever!" she replied. "But I don't think we should be engaged until you are free to marry, so can we just agree that I'll promise to marry you, and leave having a proper engagement till the divorce comes through?"

"If you'll marry me, whatever you want is fine," said Lucien, hugging her close again, "just as long as I can kiss you," and he broke off to do just that, "and hold you." With that he held her tightly against himself and lifted her just off the ground, making them both laugh.

"We'll be attracting attention from the neighbours if we go on like this," said Jean, and when he set her back on her feet she took him by the hand and led him inside. When the front door closed behind them, she turned and gave him a firm kiss on the mouth, brief but very definite, and full of an assurance she hadn't felt until just then.

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That evening, with the dishes washed and drinks poured out, Lucien came to sit beside Jean on the couch. Putting his arm around her shoulders, he kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear. "I'm so happy you've said yes, Jean. I do love you."

He took from his trouser pocket the ring box with his mother's ring in it. "I'd like you to have the ring back, Jean. I felt so unhappy when you left it on my desk. It's your ring and I want you to have it now, even if you don't want to wear it yet."

She took the box and opened it, then picked up the ring and slipped it on her finger for the first time. "I hated leaving it for you like that," she murmured, " and I'll be proud to wear it when we are properly engaged." She held up her hand for him to see the ring on her finger, and kissed him on the cheek. "It's beautiful, thank you." And with that, she took the ring off and replaced it in the box, then put the box in her pocket. Reaching for Lucien's hand to hold, she kissed him lightly and whispered back that she loved him too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: thanks for all the comments and reviews. I've got a busy week ahead so may not update for a few days now, but I've got ideas for a few more chapters and they will follow when I can write them! If you 'follow' this story you'll be notified when I update, if that helps. If anyone wants a particular scene or idea to appear, let me know and I'll see if I can work it in for you!**

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Over the next day or so, it became clear to Lucien and Jean that they would have to be honest with Charlie about their not-quite engagement. Not only had he seen Lucien caressing Jean's cheek through the bars of the police station cell, but he could not now fail to notice a new level of intimacy between them.

They had always been quite tactile with each other, but now they seemed to touch every time they were in the same room; just his hand on the small of her back, or her fingers smoothing his collar, but always with an undercurrent of attraction between them. And they both looked happy, as if some weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Charlie realised he hadn't seen Jean smile for weeks, yet now she was laughing as she served dinner, over an anecdote Lucien had told.

Charlie looked from one to the other, growing more thoughtful as the meal went on. This wasn't just about Mei Lin leaving, he thought. Something more had happened between them. Charlie didn't comment, but Lucien noticed his interest.

Later, when he and Jean were alone in his study, Lucien raised the subject. "I think we should consider saying something to Charlie. He's sharp enough to have seen a difference in us, and he does live here, it's only fair...and actually, maybe we should tell our close friends anyway. I don't want them to think I'm taking advantage of you."

"If they are friends they won't think that anyway," replied Jean, "but maybe we could ask some of them to dinner, and tell them then. Perhaps thank them for all they did to help sort out the mess Derek Alderton made too."

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The following evening, Jean set the kitchen table for eight, checked on the roast in the oven, and went to change her dress. She'd insisted they should eat casually in the kitchen, not wanting to remind anyone too clearly of the painful and rather formal dinner they had endured when Mei Lin first arrived.

But she still wanted to look her best, and admitted to herself she was rather nervous as to what the reaction would be to their news. Would they think it was too soon?

Charlie arrived home and looked surprised at the number of places laid at the table. "Mrs Beazley, do you need a hand?" he asked. "I didn't know we had company coming to dinner."

"That's all right, Charlie, it's all done now. But you could answer the door," she added, as the first guests knocked.

Rose and Matthew arrived first, with Matthew on crutches but still managing to carry the obligatory bottle of whisky. Alice was next, Frank came a few minutes later, and finally Cec, who had managed to arrange an evening off for himself at the last moment, curious as to why he'd been invited.

As they all gathered at the table and Lucien started to carve the meat, he thanked them all for coming and said that he'd asked them all so that he could thank them for their recent help in the case, in particular for trusting him, and for helping Jean and Mei Lin.

That didn't quite explain why Matthew was there, but everyone took the little speech as their cue to relax, and as they ate, conversation flowed and new connections were made. Lucien and Jean exchanged a few secretive smiles, and at one point he may have been stroking her knee under the table, but anyone who saw was polite enough to pretend they hadn't noticed.

By the end of the meal everyone was full and relaxed, Cec and Matthew were discussing whisky, Rose and Charlie were verbally sparring as usual, and Frank was discovering that Alice was a surprisingly good listener to his tales of past adventures. Jean touched Lucien's hand where it lay on the table, and he nodded. It was time.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, he stood and thanked Jean for a delicious meal, and then paused for a moment.

"Actually, the main reason we've asked you here tonight is to tell you that I've asked Jean to marry me and I'm delighted that she has accepted. We don't know when we'll be able to marry yet, and so we're not going to be properly engaged until the divorce comes through. But we hope you'll be happy for us both." Holding Jean's hand, he pulled her gently to her feet and kissed her cheek, hugging her to his side for a moment. Only then did he dare look around the table to see the reactions of their guests.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a moment of quiet around the table as they absorbed this news, then Charlie spoke first.

"I knew it! I knew something had happened! Congratulations." He got to his feet and shook the doctor's hand and this galvanised the others into action. As Charlie went to Jean, he said "I'm really happy for you, Mrs Beazley," and hugged her hard enough to make her blush. Alice touched Jean's arm and offered her best wishes quietly, and Jean said to both of them, and to Rose as she joined in, "I think it's time you all called me Jean, don't you?" and they warmly agreed.

Cec confined his response to "Congratulations, sir," and a handshake, but seemed genuinely pleased. Frank said he wasn't surprised at all, perhaps remembering that he'd assumed they were married when he first met them. In fact everyone seemed to be grinning at them and talking at once.

But Matthew chose a moment after the initial congratulations had died down to suggest a toast, and soon everyone had a glass of whisky or sherry in front of them. Matthew proposed a toast, congratulating Blake and teasing Jean that at least she knew what she was taking on. As he warmed to his theme, Charlie suggested that Lawson was auditioning for best man, and they were all laughing again.

Later they all moved to the living room, Lucien refilling drinks and making sure everyone was settled. He took the opportunity to speak to Rose about their news. "I don't want to read about this in The Courier, you know," and although he said it lightly, she knew he was serious. "I understand, I won't be talking about this to anyone, not till it's all official anyway," she replied.

Jean did not usually like being the centre of attention, but she was feeling better about it now she realised their friends were genuinely happy for them. It also meant she could hold Lucien's hand openly as he came to sit next to her. She had become so used to hiding her feelings from everyone, that it felt odd to have admitted even to their friends that she loved Lucien.

Lucien was much more relaxed about openly telling everyone that he loved Jean; Mei Lin's reappearance had meant he had had to make a choice, and once it was made he was more confident that this felt right. At least now he knew they had some allies who would support them when the news of the divorce came out.

Sometime afterwards, Cec, Alice and Frank said their goodbyes and went home. Charlie and Rose wandered into the kitchen and could soon be heard washing up and clearing up in the kitchen. Lucien and Jean were left to themselves in the living room, relieved that the evening had gone well and their news had been well received. Perhaps the difficulties of recent weeks had made their love clearer, to themselves and to others.

Now they had a rare opportunity for a few minutes quietly together, holding hands and exchanging a few brief kisses, talking softly about the future and what it might hold.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: I suspect that series 5 will have a lot more difficulties and angst in it than I am giving Lucien and Jean. But I can't bear to make it too hard for them. I'm still recovering from series 4! Thanks as always for the messages and reviews, they are really helping me to work out where to go with this next. X**

As they took some small steps together towards a new relationship as lovers, Lucien pondered on the undeniable fact that they had got parts of this in the wrong order. They may have lived in the same house for years, shared many meals and conversations, a few kisses and even a proposal (or two), but he had never taken Jean out for a drink, or a meal, or to the pictures, or anywhere in fact that wasn't connected to an investigation.

It seemed unromantic to him to turn his housekeeper into his wife without any of the usual preliminaries. He would have to give it some more thought.

The next morning he was called out to certify death in an elderly man found at the bottom of his stairs. This turned out to be an entirely accidental death and so was swiftly dealt with, and Lucien took the opportunity to buy Jean some flowers on the way home. She looked surprised but pleased, and started to arrange them in a vase, filling it with water and cutting the stems, while asking him about the death he had been to.

Lucien stopped her for a moment, stilling her hands and removing the scissors, turning her towards him. He kissed her gently, then when she responded, more definitely. "I love you Jean; I want to do all this properly. I want to go out with you on my arm, I want the chance to court you."

Jean laughed. "It's a lovely idea, but you've already caught me!" she teased him. "Anyway, where could we possibly go where we wouldn't be seen by people we know? If we went to the pictures or somewhere like that it would only make the gossip worse. I can't see how we can do that until we're married, or properly engaged at least."

She softened her words with a smile, but Lucien had to concede she had a point. Ballarat was a small town, with all the difficulties that could sometimes bring. But he wasn't one to give in easily.

"I'll find a way to manage it," he replied, "but don't worry, I won't ruin your reputation."

Jean was tempted to say her reputation was already rather damaged, but she didn't. It had been her choice to stay on as housekeeper after Thomas Blake had died, and she'd known from the beginning that working for Lucien would invite comment and criticism. That wasn't his fault; it had been her choice to make.

"Well, for this evening, why don't we drive down to the lake and take a walk. No one can think that's scandalous, surely?" Lucien asked. Jean wasn't even sure about that, but in the event the path by the lake was deserted and they strolled along for some time in companionable silence. Jean threaded her arm through Lucien's early on, but on the way back he held her hand, as she told him then about her day.

Back in the car they exchanged a few kisses, becoming a bit more daring as the sun started to set over the water. Jean stroked the side of his face softly, ruffling his beard a little. Lucien's fingers traced along her collar bone, just above the collar of her blouse, fascinated by the smoothness of the skin there, and she shivered for a moment.

"Are you cold?" he murmured, putting his arm around her to warm her up. "Not really. It was just...when you touched me..." Jean looked embarrassed to explain that he was arousing her with his touch. Lucien chuckled quietly and looked rather pleased. "We'd better go home then," he said, "before you get carried away!"


	8. Chapter 8

**This is the second update in the last 24 hours, so you might want to check you've read chapter 7 before reading this one. x**

Lucien made careful plans for the next Friday evening, doing his best to make sure his date with Jean would be as uninterrupted and private as possible. To achieve this he needed the help of Alice, Frank, Charlie and Cec, and he also needed to swear them to secrecy, so that Jean would not guess what he had planned.

To Jean, he said merely that he was taking her to dinner on Friday, and that she did not need to worry about feeding Charlie that evening either.

He had tried to think of a way of taking Jean out to a restaurant for dinner that would not involve being seen together by any acquaintances. He had considered taking her out of town, but that seemed rather as if he was ashamed of being with her. In the end, he decided they would eat out, but at home. He just hoped she wouldn't feel cheated out of the occasion. And he needed to make sure the phone wouldn't ring.

Lucien spent the afternoon at the police station, finishing the paperwork from the most recent case. As he left he checked with Frank that he would call on Alice if a police surgeon were needed that evening, and then went round to the morgue to thank Alice for being on call for him. Driving home he found himself both excited and a little nervous about the evening to come. This was no casual date with a woman he happened to find attractive. This was his first date with his best friend, with the woman who knew him better than anyone else on earth, and who had said she would marry him. He had hurt her so much recently that he was just anxious to get this right.

Arriving home, he hung up his hat and coat and went to find Jean in the kitchen, kissing her on the lips, and tucking a loose wisp of hair behind her ear. As he drew back to look at her, he reflected that this now everyday part of their lives was the wrong way round too. They had been greeting each other every evening for two years now, minus the kiss of course, and it felt normal, commonplace, even cosy, as if they had been married for years. Not many couples lived together as friends for so long before realising they loved each other, not in a town like Ballarat at least.

"What sort of place are we going to, Lucien?" Jean asked. "I'm not sure what to wear tonight."

Lucien knew what he wanted her to wear, at least. "It's rather an exclusive sort of place; do you still have that green dress? The one you wore..." He didn't really want to mention it but Jean finished the sentence for him.

"The one I wore when I went out with Richard? Yes, I could wear that, if you liked it."

"That dress made me see for the first time how beautiful you are. I was jealous of him that evening, you know," he admitted.

"Yes, I could see that you were. You still gave me your blessing though, if I remember rightly." Jean's reply was rather flirtatious.

"Yes, well, I was just being polite." Lucien had spent more hours than he would care to admit remembering her wearing that gorgeous green dress that showed off the curve of her hips, yet also how slim she was. And he'd loved the way she had put up her hair, taming all the curls that he loved on her usually, for something different, more elegant.

Charlie called in at home to get changed, and also slipped unnoticed by Jean into the studio to rearrange things on Blake's instructions. He was then going out for the evening, having persuaded Rose to go to the pictures with him.

By seven o'clock Jean was ready and waiting in the hall, when Lucien appeared rather hastily, still tying his tie. What on earth could he have been doing for so long, Jean wondered? He helped her on with her coat and took her hand, leading her out to the car and opening the door for her.

"So will you tell me where we are going, now?" she asked.

Lucien just replied, "Wait and see," and drove away, admiring Jean with a sideways glance as he did so.


	9. Chapter 9

Jean was not at all convinced of the wisdom of this night out. She looked at her outfit, and then at Lucien in his best suit, and realised that anyone who saw them would not believe for an instant that there was nothing between them. Men didn't take their housekeepers out for a meal in their best clothes, out of friendship alone. And he was still married. She sighed slightly, which did not escape Lucien's notice.

He kept up a stream of conversation, hoping to distract Jean from realising they were going nowhere in particular. As they started approaching their own house again, Jean interrupted the latest anecdote.

"Where are we actually going, Lucien?"

"To the best restaurant in Ballarat. Open for one night only, very exclusive. Courtesy of Cec and the Colonists' Club."

She looked at him curiously as he brought the car to a halt. She really hadn't expected this at all.

"Is it just us?" She sounded hopeful. She didn't really want to share her evening 'out', even with friends.

"Just us," he replied. "Cec is going to serve dinner for us but then he's going home. Alice is on call so we can can relax and the phone shouldn't ring. Now, are you coming in?"

By now he was standing by the car with the passenger door open. Jean took his hand and went with him inside the house and down to his mother's studio. Lucien took her coat and let her go in first, and as she pushed aside the curtain she gasped for a moment.

Charlie and Lucien had moved the furniture so the couch was under the window now, and in front of the fireplace there was a small table laid for two, with a rose in a small vase. The gramophone had been moved into the studio and music was playing quietly in the background. The room was lit with many candles and the fire crackling away, and the flickering light sent beautiful shadows dancing round the room, lighting up the paintings there and giving a warm glow to the room.

"It's lovely," she said. "Thank you for doing all this, Lucien. It's a wonderful idea." She kissed him to thank him, but it turned into a more leisurely, loving kiss, until they heard Cec's footsteps approaching and they moved apart rather reluctantly, and then Lucien drew out Jean's seat for her at the table.

Cec greeted Jean, though she noticed he didn't quite manage to call her Jean. Still, Mrs Beazley was an improvement on 'Sir' which was all he ever called Lucien. He served the food and wine discreetly, then left, saying that he would leave dessert in the kitchen for them to help themselves.

Once he had gone, they both seemed to relax properly. Lucien watched Jean with a growing sense of gratitude. How could he have been lucky enough to find someone as clever and beautiful as Jean, who still loved him despite the unfortunate reappearance of his wife, and now seemed prepared to put up with an unknown delay before they could marry? Before Mei Lin left, he had been so afraid that Jean would move out, move to Adelaide perhaps, to get away from the painful reality of his wife coming back into his life.

"Thank you for staying with me, Jean," he said, and she looked puzzled for a moment, wondering if he was talking about this evening. Then looking at his expression she realised what he meant.

"Oh, that. Well, I probably shouldn't have, but I wasn't brave enough to leave. At least by staying I still saw you." A fleeting grimace passed over her face, and Lucien's heart sank a little. The pain was obviously still rather raw. In time he hoped she would forgive him.

In fact, Jean didn't blame him for what had happened. It had been difficult, but not his fault, and she could see that the love she felt for him had been refined and strengthened in the fire of all that Derek Alderton had planned.

Once the food was finished, Lucien put the plates in the kitchen and they went to sit on the couch together.


	10. Chapter 10

**I think we are getting towards the end of this particular story; there may be a couple more chapters to come. I've got some ideas for other DBM stories I'd like to write, including a post-wedding one, and a couple of one-shots. Thanks for all the comments - now some of you should start to write some Lucien and Jean fics too!**

Lucien rested back on the couch, jacket off, his feet stretched out in front of him, and sighed with satisfaction. The meal had gone well, and now he had an hour or two of peace and quiet with the person he loved best in the world. He closed his eyes for a moment and enjoyed the sensation of Jean leaning against his shoulder. He could smell her perfume, not something she usually wore, overlaying the familiar scent of soap. Putting his arm around her more closely, he kissed her temple and nuzzled gently in her sweet smelling hair.

Jean eased off her shoes and tucked her feet up on the couch, moving herself a little closer to Lucien. She'd enjoyed the meal, and knew he'd worked hard to organise it. She whispered her thanks in his ear and kissed his cheek, then ran her fingertips over his beard and down his neck.

Finding her progress impeded by his collar and tie, she started to loosen his tie, which earned her a raised eyebrow from Lucien, who now opened his eyes and looked at her in surprise. He removed his tie himself and undid his top button, allowing Jean to stroke his neck and plant some little kisses on his chest, where it was revealed under his shirt.

In return, he ran his free hand lightly up her side, feeling the curve of her waist under the smooth fabric of her dress. When he brushed against the underside of her breast she hummed slightly against his neck and he paused, not sure whether she was wanting him to stop or encouraging him.

He pulled back for a moment and looked her in the eye. She could see a flash of longing in his eyes. "Is this alright?" he asked, and she nodded, and then looked away, embarrassed. Emboldened by this, Lucien half-lifted, half-encouraged her onto his lap, so she was sitting across his legs. He started to kiss the side of her neck, moving his fingers along her hairline at the back, where her hair usually curled. "May I?" he asked as he took out a hair grip. Without answering, Jean began to draw out the pins that held her hair up, and soon he was running his fingers through her hair, ruffling it and letting it fall in messy curls.

She kissed him on the lips briefly, still feeling her way with him, learning the scent that was just him, tasting the whisky on his lips. He kissed her back, testing her lip with his tongue, but gently, waiting to see what she wanted. As she let him into her mouth, she felt a tug of desire low in her abdomen, and his hand crept over her knee, slipping under the hem of her dress.

Lucien deepened the kiss as Jean's hands explored his chest and shoulders through his shirt, but when he moved his hand along the inside of her leg, towards the top of her stockings, she wriggled away a little and he paused, breaking the kiss and resting with his forehead against hers.

"Perhaps that's far enough," he acknowledged with a smile. Jean smiled back, noticing they were both breathing heavily, and nodded. "It could be a long time until we're married, maybe we should go slowly," she reminded him.

She could feel the evidence of his arousal against her thigh as she sat on his lap, and wondered for a moment if she was being unfair to him, but he reassured her. "There's no rush; we have the rest of our lives to spend together."

Jean moved to sit next to him on the couch and he coaxed her to think about where she would like to go for their honeymoon. He knew she had hardly travelled beyond Melbourne or Adelaide, and thought it could be a chance for her to see a bit more of the world. For some time they talked about places she had dreamt of and the places Lucien had been, without deciding anything, but enjoying the new horizons opening up for them.

As the fire burned down low, they heard the sound of Charlie letting himself back into the house quietly. He went to his room without disturbing them but the spell was broken and they moved apart. Lucien offered to clear up and put everything back to normal, so Jean said goodnight and kissed him, then went to her bedroom. She lay awake for a while, listening to Lucien moving around downstairs, while she thought over the evening, wondering to herself how long the divorce would take and how long their engagement was likely to be.


	11. Chapter 11

**Last chapter for this story. I've enjoyed writing this fanfic, it's made me a bit braver about writing for these characters. Thanks for all the reviews.**

Gradually, Jean and Lucien found a new rhythm to their lives as the months went by. Outwardly they returned to the life they had led before Mei Lin arrived at their door.

Jean was the housekeeper and receptionist she had always been, Lucien was her employer. To the patients and townspeople, that was all there was to it. Even those who had always thought there must be more to their relationship, came to think they must have been wrong. They were scrupulously careful not to give themselves away, not wanting to jeopardise the divorce, never letting their guard down except with the close friends who knew.

Yet whenever their work was finished, their lives slipped into their new routine; supper together, an evening by the fire in the studio, a walk by the lake, perhaps a drive out of town. For a few hours they could look ahead, see how life might be when Lucien was free, imagine themselves married even.

A few times they drove to Melbourne for a day out, hiding themselves in the anonymity of the city, walking hand in hand, eating out together, going to the theatre, planning a future that never seemed to arrive.

Occasionally Jean found herself imagining what would happen if they moved away, started again, lived together and told everyone they met they were married. But she knew it wouldn't happen. Ballarat was home, and she could not live a life of deception forever. They just had to be patient.

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On the day the divorce was final, Lucien and Jean took the train to Melbourne. For the first time she wore his mother's ring, and all day it felt strange on her finger.

They went straight from the lawyer to the registry office, and two hours later they were on the train home, with their wedding booked for three weeks time. They had spent many hours discussing a proper engagement. Lucien wanted to tell everyone, enjoy the moment, celebrate; Jean wanted to be discreet, cautious, and most of all, married. As usual, he knew she was right.

For the next three weeks, Jean wore her old wedding ring by day, and in the evening exchanged it for her new ring, putting off her old life and putting on the new. Their evenings together lengthened, as they watched the fire die down in the hearth before saying goodnight reluctantly.

One morning at breakfast, Lucien turned to Charlie. "Is it your day off tomorrow, Charlie?" He knew it was.

"Would you and Rose like a day out in Melbourne? Jean and I are getting married and we need a couple of witnesses." Lucien asked as casually as if he was offering Charlie another cup of tea, and it took a moment for the meaning to register in Charlie's brain. He looked from Lucien to Jean and saw in her smile that what he thought he had heard was right.

"Yes, of course we would," he replied. "Well, I need to ask Rose, but I'm sure that'll be fine. Why didn't you say something before?" Charlie looked both shocked and delighted.

"The divorce was finalised three weeks ago, Charlie. We decided to just get married without any fuss, this seemed the best way," said Jean quietly. "We'll tell everyone else afterwards, maybe have a little party to celebrate then."

"Well, I'm honoured to be asked," said Charlie, with a grin.

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The wedding may have been long-awaited but the ceremony took barely fifteen minutes, and before they knew it all four of them were standing on the pavement outside. Charlie suggested a drink, and they all walked down the road to the nearest pub, where the men went to the bar to order drinks.

"Congratulations, Jean," said Rose. "It's been a long time coming."

Jean glanced sideways at the younger woman, and saw a meaningful smile on Rose's face.

"Yes, but I'm sure it will be worth it," she replied, returning the look.

Lucien and Charlie returned with the drinks, Charlie made a toast, and they all chatted for a few minutes. When they had finished their drinks, Rose suggested quite firmly to Charlie that they should go, and stood up before he could object. Kissing both Jean and Lucien on the cheek, she virtually dragged Charlie out of the pub, much to his bemusement.

"I think they've waited long enough, Charlie. They've only got one night in Melbourne, Lucien's back at work the day after tomorrow." The penny dropped then for Charlie, though he looked slightly shocked.

"They are having a honeymoon, though, Rose, just not for a few weeks," Charlie added. Rose just rolled her eyes at him.

Meanwhile, Lucien and Jean were hand in hand in the pub, exchanging a few kisses, laughing together at Rose's haste and Charlie's confusion, and just savouring the moment.

Then Lucien got to his feet and held out his hand to Jean. "Come on, Mrs Blake," he said, and they set off to the hotel together, at last.


End file.
